The first thing I saw when I walked into McKenna's hospital room was a blanket wrapped and ready for McKenna. It was a handmade gift from Project Linus, a national organization of quilters who make blankets for sick children. I'm really grateful for this organization. Here is a note I just sent to the Utah chapter heads. It explains who I feel:
I just wanted to thank you for your work with Project Linus. I wrote a quick note to the national Web site, but i wanted to thank you, the locals here in Utah. Last week my 3 week old baby had a high fever and was admitted into American Fork hospital for a few nights. We had just endured several very painful tests with our little one when we walked into our room and saw the Project Linus blanket sitting there waiting for our McKenna to be all wrapped up in it. I was instantly touched because this was not our first experience with that kind of community love and support. Our first baby was in a NICU and was also given a handmade blanket from someone in the community. Both times these gifts have really touched my heart and made me feel loved and supported during times that were almost unbareable. It means so much to me to have the support of loving women in my community, and these blankets have reminded me of that. What peace has filled my heart because of your love.
I just wanted you to know that your service has really made a difference to me. Looks like the comfort of this project can extend passed the child and into so many people's lives.
Thank you very much,
Jill Fellow and her little angels Kristie Quinn Fellow and Avery McKenna Fellow
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Crying
For the record: It has taken several days to get my Averykens back on schedule. Dear me. She has done a lot of crying. Her naps have been shorter.... oh there she goes a cryin' hold on....
Ok, I'm back. She just got all messed up at the hospital, and then Tim's parents came. So, we are working on it. I've had to let her really cry it out for a few naps. Sometimes she does more crying than napping, but after that she does great for the next several hours. That reassures me that learning to sleep is the best thing for her. If I rock her to sleep, she sleeps at most 50% of what she does if she falls asleep on her own. That is really telling.
Anyway, I just didn't want to remember it wrong, and say that she never cried. Cause.... she cries plenty. She mostly cries if she is off schedule and if she has acid reflux. I have started spliting her prevecid dosage in morning and night instead of just morning, and what helps a lot too. Man, when she has back reflux, she is really pissed. yikes.
Ok, I'm back. She just got all messed up at the hospital, and then Tim's parents came. So, we are working on it. I've had to let her really cry it out for a few naps. Sometimes she does more crying than napping, but after that she does great for the next several hours. That reassures me that learning to sleep is the best thing for her. If I rock her to sleep, she sleeps at most 50% of what she does if she falls asleep on her own. That is really telling.
Anyway, I just didn't want to remember it wrong, and say that she never cried. Cause.... she cries plenty. She mostly cries if she is off schedule and if she has acid reflux. I have started spliting her prevecid dosage in morning and night instead of just morning, and what helps a lot too. Man, when she has back reflux, she is really pissed. yikes.
Friday, July 3, 2009
The First 4 Weeks in Pictures
Leaving the Hospital. Time to take our angel home!
Home, sweet home!
A happy sister and daddy, and a very tired baby girl.
Kisses for Kenna
What in the world how did I get TWO kids in my car!? Life is moving fast. This was our first trip as a family of 4. We went to the hospital to have McKenna tested for something the day after she came home.
Oh Dear, Grammy got a war wound from all her helping. 6 stitches and a trip to insta-care. She was most worried able not being about to help with dishes.... what a woman!
Smiles!
McKenna in Bridget's arms. Paige looks on.
McKenna with Cousin Rachel
Grammy and Quinn pose as they say good bye!! We can't wait to see Grammy in a few weeks. She was such an AMAZING help and so fun when she stayed with us.
Ready or not. Here I come! Peyton Jane meets Avery McKenna.
More smiles in one of my favorite outfits from the Quinn days. 1 week old.
Loving this outfit from my friend Elizabeth. I happen to have these matching pants. 1 and half Weeks old.
Look who loves a poodle!
No Really. She loves it! And Quinn loves to share!
At one week and 6 days, Quinn finally really gets on board with loving our new little nugget. This was the first time she asked to hold my Averykins.
More lovin'
Hanging out at the 2 week check up. 9 lbs 1 oz.
Cutest new outfit. A gift from the pediatrician's family who lives in our neighborhood. We love the Spencers!!
Ouch!! Drama at the hospital. But our baby was a trouper!
It's about time!! Grandma and Grandpa finally make it to Utah to meet McKenna.
3 Weeks and 3 days old
So cute!
More time with Grandma!
Had to document this. I believe in giving my babies a FULL feeding, which means you have to wake them up a lot. The best method for McKenna is to just nicely lay her on the floor right by my rocking chair. She moves around, takes a poop, and wakes up in no time at all. However, as she gets older, she is on to me. Here she is fighting the system. Dead asleep.
Hanging out in the high chair while mom and grandma make dinner.
Finally a shot of mom! I've lovin' my girl.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Home from the Hospital ... again
Well, she had to spend two nights in the hospital, but we are finally home.
Here is what I wrote about it on my blog:
Well, it is a good thing I love my new little nugget because I am going to have to give my vacation fund to the local hospital to pay for the two nights that McKenna just stayed there.
She got a fever on Sunday, and we were off to the ER. Poor thing was moaning and groaning like an old man with a hernia. She didn't want to be touched or moved, and her little face was all scrunched and angry. It broke my heart. Her fever was only 100.0 or so when we took her in, but we felt like it was cruel to let her lay there in plain like that. By the time we got to the ER, her fever was up to 101.5. That is serious yikes territory for a three week old. We were glad we chose to go, but they really put her through the ringer with tests to make sure she did not have a bacterial infection that could be fatal if untreated. Everything was negative. If something small had been positive, we could have come home a long time ago. But with no answers, they just kept looking for infections and treating her for the worst case scenario.
It was a rough few days. I'm very sleepy. And I feel like I need to get to know my baby all over again. I didn't get to hold and cuddle her very much while she was all hooked up to the machines, and she almost never nursed. Cuddling with the breast pump just is not as bonding. I also have a lot of laundry to do because I want to deep clean everything that went to the hospital. Also, the cookies I made before we left on Sunday are gone. Who ate them?
I did have to regulate a little on the hospital staff. There were a few times when McKenna's oxygen levels dropped into dangerous territory, and NO ONE was watching her monitors. Well, I was ... but they don't pay me ... I pay them. She was on oxygen for a few hours last night, and then when her levels dropped again this morning, the nurse didn't even know she'd been on oxygen the night before. Ah, hello? Could someone read my babies chart, please? So, of course, I filed a very kind and well-stated complaint with the hospital. I also made it clear that I will not be paying for any nursing care that I had to ask for more than once. Kill them with kindness, my mom always said. Oh, I plan to.
Quinn has been passed from friend to family and back again since Sunday. I've only seen her for about one hour a day. She's acting all funny again, so it might take a few days for her to go back to normal too. I guess that's life. I was really surprised though because when I was hanging out with her for a few minutes yesterday, she seemed to know exactly what was going on.
"Where's mommy been? " "With Kenna"
"Who is coming over next?" "Paige and Breee dget (Bridget)"
"Why does mommy have to stay with Kenna?" "Ummmmm Sick"
She also told me today in the car that her new baby doll is "pretty."
So, that is what has been happening to us. Tim and I decided that things like this only have to be as dramatic as we want them to be. There is nothing enately dramatic about the hospital. People just make it a big deal. We just did what we had to do to make sure our Kenna was OK. There were a few moments that I was scared. I did start swearing when her oxygen levels dropped this morning, but for the most part we just rolled with it. My favorite nurse, Janice, said I was one of the calmest and most relaxed mom's she'd ever had with a baby patient. Yeah for me and yeah for our family. We'll all be back home together in a few hours.
Post Script: I was also really proud of my husband on Sunday night. After he went home to get some rest, he called to say he was coming back to give McKenna a priesthood blessing. This is a special and important thing we do in our church, and one time to do it is when someone is sick. We don't use Tim's priesthood nearly enough in our house. It is both of our faults. I never ask. So, I was really proud when he took the initiative to come back and bless the baby. And I loved hearing his blessing because it didn't sound like him. It sounded like someone who was being truly inspired. The words were not words he would normally choose. I more thoughts about it, but they are just for me. :)
Here is what I wrote about it on my blog:
Well, it is a good thing I love my new little nugget because I am going to have to give my vacation fund to the local hospital to pay for the two nights that McKenna just stayed there.
She got a fever on Sunday, and we were off to the ER. Poor thing was moaning and groaning like an old man with a hernia. She didn't want to be touched or moved, and her little face was all scrunched and angry. It broke my heart. Her fever was only 100.0 or so when we took her in, but we felt like it was cruel to let her lay there in plain like that. By the time we got to the ER, her fever was up to 101.5. That is serious yikes territory for a three week old. We were glad we chose to go, but they really put her through the ringer with tests to make sure she did not have a bacterial infection that could be fatal if untreated. Everything was negative. If something small had been positive, we could have come home a long time ago. But with no answers, they just kept looking for infections and treating her for the worst case scenario.
It was a rough few days. I'm very sleepy. And I feel like I need to get to know my baby all over again. I didn't get to hold and cuddle her very much while she was all hooked up to the machines, and she almost never nursed. Cuddling with the breast pump just is not as bonding. I also have a lot of laundry to do because I want to deep clean everything that went to the hospital. Also, the cookies I made before we left on Sunday are gone. Who ate them?
I did have to regulate a little on the hospital staff. There were a few times when McKenna's oxygen levels dropped into dangerous territory, and NO ONE was watching her monitors. Well, I was ... but they don't pay me ... I pay them. She was on oxygen for a few hours last night, and then when her levels dropped again this morning, the nurse didn't even know she'd been on oxygen the night before. Ah, hello? Could someone read my babies chart, please? So, of course, I filed a very kind and well-stated complaint with the hospital. I also made it clear that I will not be paying for any nursing care that I had to ask for more than once. Kill them with kindness, my mom always said. Oh, I plan to.
Quinn has been passed from friend to family and back again since Sunday. I've only seen her for about one hour a day. She's acting all funny again, so it might take a few days for her to go back to normal too. I guess that's life. I was really surprised though because when I was hanging out with her for a few minutes yesterday, she seemed to know exactly what was going on.
"Where's mommy been? " "With Kenna"
"Who is coming over next?" "Paige and Breee dget (Bridget)"
"Why does mommy have to stay with Kenna?" "Ummmmm Sick"
She also told me today in the car that her new baby doll is "pretty."
So, that is what has been happening to us. Tim and I decided that things like this only have to be as dramatic as we want them to be. There is nothing enately dramatic about the hospital. People just make it a big deal. We just did what we had to do to make sure our Kenna was OK. There were a few moments that I was scared. I did start swearing when her oxygen levels dropped this morning, but for the most part we just rolled with it. My favorite nurse, Janice, said I was one of the calmest and most relaxed mom's she'd ever had with a baby patient. Yeah for me and yeah for our family. We'll all be back home together in a few hours.
Post Script: I was also really proud of my husband on Sunday night. After he went home to get some rest, he called to say he was coming back to give McKenna a priesthood blessing. This is a special and important thing we do in our church, and one time to do it is when someone is sick. We don't use Tim's priesthood nearly enough in our house. It is both of our faults. I never ask. So, I was really proud when he took the initiative to come back and bless the baby. And I loved hearing his blessing because it didn't sound like him. It sounded like someone who was being truly inspired. The words were not words he would normally choose. I more thoughts about it, but they are just for me. :)
Monday, June 29, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
First Fever
Well, my angel has her first fever.
100.0 F
She's pretty sad. I'm waiting for Tim to track down the doctor at church to find out what to do.
She woke up whimpering in pain. A few people asked me how I know she's in pain: "'Cause I'm her mama and I know!"
She's not eating much. She winced in pain. She's hot. She looks sad. Poor thing.
A sick newborn is so sad and so scary.
She's sleeping now, but wakes up every few minutes with a whimper or whale and goes back to sleep.
:(
100.0 F
She's pretty sad. I'm waiting for Tim to track down the doctor at church to find out what to do.
She woke up whimpering in pain. A few people asked me how I know she's in pain: "'Cause I'm her mama and I know!"
She's not eating much. She winced in pain. She's hot. She looks sad. Poor thing.
A sick newborn is so sad and so scary.
She's sleeping now, but wakes up every few minutes with a whimper or whale and goes back to sleep.
:(
Friday, June 26, 2009
Smiles
I know it seems crazy, but I feel like you are happier today. You seem to have a content look on your face, and I swear I see some smiles. Normally your big smiles are followed by some big toots or poops, but these seem to just be smiles for smiles sake. I cuddled you for an hour this morning on the couch with Quinn. We all snuggled and sang "The wheels on the bus." I loved it.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
An Afternoon with Daddy
I left you with Daddy for a few hours today so I could take Quinn on a pony ride at the farm. I didn't worry too much, but I was pretty sure Bob did not listen to my instructions. Turns out I was a little right because he never changed your diaper, and your arms kept popping out of your swaddle. I think it was just a misunderstanding. You're not all messed up though. You ate beautifully when I got home, and I haven't heard a peep in almost 3 hours. I saw an 8 week old at the farm, and it made me miss you. I want to have you with me all the time, but that is not always what is best for you. I'm pretty sure you loved your time with daddy ... even the rough patches. Remember when you're a mom that if you don't leave your newborn with your husband in the first few weeks at least once, you sort of lose the window, and he'll be nervous around the babies till they're 5. Plus, it was so freakin' hot today! You deserved to spend the day in your air conditioned bed ... even if I missed out on bragging rights. I'm excited to show you off to Heather tomorrow.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
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