Sick (Of Nursing)

McKenna has a cold. Her nose is running none stop, and, of course, she hates to have it wipes. Poor thing. I give her half a tablet of benedryl once or twice a day, and that seems to help, but Tim seems to think that is not safe. (Stupid information on the Internet empowering dad's to be armed with information...) Anyway, I thought she would be doing better today, but she is still all gross.

I have been weening her from nursing, and now that she is sick, but I just want to throw in the towel. I live this little nugget so much, and I especially love holding her and rocking her. I guess I can do all of this with a bottle. I guess it is just a matter of making a new habit.

Basically, I am weening for a few reasons. Selfishly I would like my body back. Everyone knows I am about the least vein of anyone I know, but enough is enough. I am packing on the weight like it is going out of style. And I will never forget how much I loved my body after I stopped nursing Quinn. That was heaven. So that is one reason, but I have also been having troubles with my menstrual cycle. When I left for 5 days for the 3 day walk, my body thought I was done nursing, and I started menstruating again. So on the second cycle after that -- when i was back to nursing fulltime -- the ovulation hormones where fighting the lactation hormones, and I felt like I was going crazy. I got way bloated. I got depressed for like 3 weeks until my body gave up and I got an anovultion cycle (you get your period without having ovulated -- normally about a 40 day cycle). On top of all of that I am planning to go back on clomid and have a new baby.

I guess what I am saying is let's get this show on the road. I would over think it, but it is over. I guess I am just not used to wanting my baby to stay a baby forever. I have always been all about Quinn growing up. But my McKenna is my Kenna-benna baby, and I want her to cuddle with me forever.